It's Complicated!

Have you ever looked at your ex-boyfriend and wondered –“Was I drunk the entire relationship?” 

And have you ever looked at your girlfriend (cause you don’t want an ex prefixed, trust me) and wondered – “Oh my God, she’s like a thousand tabs open in a single browser, all the time!!) 

Despite this, according to the Center of Statistics which I just made up, 40% of the nation’s population is in Love. And that’s just the stretch on Park Street during weekends.

Every one of my friends is either in a relationship or getting married and having babies. And I’m just over here – having cake and getting fat even for my trackpants. So Yes, for me – It is complicated. All the hype about Love and relationships is nauseating for me. Having to look perfect all the time with a happydent smile on your face as if love was all that mattered? Arrgghhh!! Who are we trying to fool? 

Gone are the days when love fluttered with butterflies in your stomach and violins in your ears. Today, the list of prerequisites to fall in love are longer than a Sri Lankan surname; and includes but is not limited to a character certificate from the Pope and your bank details from the moment you put that first penny in your piggy bank. All of these requirements, expectations and demands have destroyed the chances of people falling in love – like the way Hitler destroyed the hopes of anyone wanting to sport a cool half moustache. So yes, it is complicated.

You know what’s more complicated? Valentines Day and Rose Day, propose Day, Chocolate day, I don’t believe girls buy this crap day and I broke up, let’s drink day. You’d think how a girl as beautiful and cheerful as me would think of these lovely harmless days with such derogation? That’s because I was the brand ambassador of these days until I was 16. Now I am just fat but mature enough to know that these are just socially acceptable reasons to act stupid. (This was also the reasoning behind the first Parliament).

Coming back to the point, this year I choose to be single and awesome during this so called festival of love. But Mark Zuckherberg wouldn’t let me be. Or to be precise, his blue-eyed-baby. I’m talking about Facebook. Hardly had I started relishing my crazy single life when my timeline went from zero to Arnab Goswami in less than 60 seconds. There were valentine selfies from all my friends, who by the way had to post picstures on this auspicious occasion for the world to validate their so called 'Loovvee’. 21st century, maybe that is complicated.

Have you ever realized how we, the generation XYZee have become so liberal with the word ‘Loovvee’. I love my sleep. I love my couch. I love my dog, I love my smartphone. I love my girlfriend. I mean, seriously – is there no difference? Infact if there was a fire and a guy had to choose between his iPhone and his girlfriend – He’d ask his girlfriend where his phone was. Why has our attitude become ‘to that of let go, be easy, have fun and not care’? Is it because we have too many options ? The smarter our phones, the dumber we become? She doesn’t care about looking into her lover’s eyes but into his watsapp conversations. He holds her hand in shopping malls not with affection but with the fear that she doesn’t go shopping. Complicated times, it seems. 

I’m just glad that Shah Jahan and Mumtaz are not part of this complicated love era because then Taj mahal would never have been built. It would’ve also been an awkward death bed conversation;

SJ – “Mumtaz, I love you. I will miss you forever.”
M – Yes my sweetheart, I love you too.

SJ – “I will tweet #SJlovesMumtaz and promote it to trend. Anybody who doesn’t retweet will be blocked in all social networks. “
M – “Tweet it now my dear, I want to be the first one to retweet it”.  Also, could you let me know the number of likes on my FB profile picture?

This could happen; but for the sake of those who do not believe in “It is complicated”, I hope it doesn’t. 

When you’ve figured out how not to be complicated in matters of the heart, the only way to go from there is up. Cause Loveman from Love City has said – “Love happens to only those who need it, not to the ones who deserve.” Falling in love is like dancing to the tunes to Padmashree Honey Singh sir or preparing for an engineering entrance a night before the exam, there no sane way to do it. 

So even though it is complicated, Let us all fall in Love. Cause it’s better to be drunk with love than being in love cause you're drunk.
Or is it the same? Until I am sober.

Signing off,

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